Based in: Taiwan · Kaohsiung.
A spiritual partner is far greater than bodily comfort Height 167cm Weight 48kg Virgo
InterestsModerate / Experienced / <1 yr
Looking forIn real life, Marriage
Dynamics
Is a newbie m really that卑微 (humble/lowly)?
When was the first time? I vaguely can't remember clearly anymore
Maybe it was because of being beaten when small — although crying in pain, I also got used to依賴 (relying)
Maybe it was the压抑 (oppressive) environment in junior year of college, a bit depressed, the extreme release of being choked by the neck
I don't know why, standing beside someone, there is a cold麻 (numb) feeling
I don't know why wearing a seatbelt gives a strange束缚感 (bondage feeling)
I don't know why a严肃 (serious) expression and a commanding tone make me yield irresistibly
I don't know why, when others say I'm someone's little 🐶, I can't control getting wet
I don't know why, when my body is touched, I战栗 (tremble)
Why, when I call [him] daddy, my heart contracts painfully, tightening again and again
I don't know why I'm different from others
I get anxious, I lack a sense of security, I feel very lonely and want a hug
I also don't know why I'm like this
I want a patient owner — a bit warmer, a bit more霸气 (domineering)
But I'm also very afraid he will only treat me as a little 🐶
Afraid of being discarded, being cold-shouldered
I feel very helpless and a bit pitiful
Full of自卑 (inferiority) and self-blame
Will a little m who doesn't know much be嫌弃ed (disdained)?
Is there really no S who patiently cultivates an m who belongs to him, loyal to him?
I don't want to be TJ'd (trained) like fast food by others
I don't know if I should still期待 (expect) now, if I should still hold幻想 (fantasies)…
Some people just say it!
Some people take it seriously…
Captured a deep blue comic sky
Still feels like rain wants to fall
Choice is a dilemma
Missing is ultimately an irreparable regret
I hope everyone who sees this can be happy for a long time!
Another afternoon of slacking and boredom — what to do? Then let me briefly talk about my personal values! The sadomasochism circle is a place of indulging desire (that's what I think). There will be some undisguised,赤裸裸 (naked) desires bred, amplified, even同质化 (homogenized). Here it can satisfy newcomers' curiosity in exploring the circle, and can also carry veteran players' laziness and disdain; it can be a church witnessing couples, and can also容纳 (accommodate) the口水 (saliva/talk) of口嗨ers (big talkers); it can become a big熔炉 (melting pot) stirring SM emotions, and can also give lonely people a洒脱 (free and easy) of being paid attention to by no one.... In short, in this circle, seemingly all unreasonableness becomes reasonable, all incomprehension can be accepted, all责 (blame) can be tolerated, even a concentration camp of 'perverts' in the eyes of 'normal people'. Call it the internet — it is clearly existing reality, and more real than reality.
Although I haven't been in the circle long, from what my eyes see and my heart feels, my understanding of SM is still more偏向 (inclined toward) spiritual resonance, and then bodily excitement.赤裸裸 pictures may make you blush, but they can't bring a heartbeat-rhythm contraction (the heart tightening). I think this should be the feeling of being moved, and also an abnormally satisfying enjoyment for a心慕 (heart-admirer) that is hard to control. In my world, Si is the person who陪 me growing up,陪 me becoming excellent together, not some 'lowly' thing in others'严重 (eyes). I don't like explaining, and I'm too lazy to lie. My loyalty is willing to be contributed to the person who cherishes me, because I know in the process of cherishing me, he must have thought a lot for me, and is more辛苦 (hardworking) than me. I don't want to disappoint him, so I will doubly cherish [it], and may even depend on him 'annoyingly' (of course, usually I am a person independent in personality, economy, and emotions).
Low-level desire is indulgence; high-level desire is self-discipline. It's not saying how noble the circle I'm in is, and I don't look down on any伪 (fake) SM. Personally I feel the SM circle has no high or low,贵 or贱 (noble or lowly) — it's just different roles with different needs. Everyone needs to be respected and cherished. Your慕 is not a Gou that only俯身弯腰 (bows and bends); she is also a person who worships you, admires you, and reveres you. In abuse and being abused, joy — you both have each other's most sincere, most珍视 (treasured) emotional value. This is very lucky and happy. So, please don't随意 (casually) discard them; every Gouzi deserves to be respected, cherished, and loved.
So, as a Si (慕), do you love your Gou (owner) enough?
Good night!
Nothing to do and I'm allSao (flirtatious) — it fits the occasion…
The love of beauty is in everyone
Those who understand naturally understand,
Those who don't understand need no explanation
I hope everyone is happy🌹🌹
Who can teach me how to deregister my account
The remaining magic beans are all yours
Enthusiasm exhausted, no more expectations!
There's no deregistration function — please permanently ban my account. @圣魔官方客服 (Shengmo official customer service)
